Sunday, January 10, 2010

Take Your Plans...

I'll admit it, I have been pissed at God. Seriously,why me, why him, you suck, take your plans and shove them where the sun don't shine pissed at God. I can see some of you squirming in your seat, "did she really just tell God to take His plans and shove it... you CAN'T say THAT". Oh but my faithful reader you can, and I have. Besides random prayers of "get us out of this place" (referring to Children's), or "please don't let him die", I haven't even "spoken" to God since the birth of puppy. That is until a few days ago. I few days ago I had it out with God, and honestly telling Him to take His plans and shove it was one of the nicer things I said. (you know you have done it too... maybe just not as vocal)

But it is OKAY. It is okay to yell at God, it is okay to be pissed, what is NOT okay is closing up, walking away, pretending that everything is how it always been when clearly it is not This is where I am. The pissed level is slowly going down, the why question is too. I am beginning to see that all of this just MAY be for good, not necessarily for Puppy, but for me. For my character. For the zookeeper and I's relationship. Maybe God has taken me to the point where I can hardly see straight just to get my attention. And my attention He has. I'm trying to get on board, but at least I am moving forward.


  1. I get mad all the time, and my kids don't have the same issues yours do. Well...Daniel doesn't anyway. But when he won't ever sleep, and Bekah literally can't eat anything (meat, coconut, eggs, a few veggies),'s hard sometimes. I sit and ask God, "Why us? What are you trying to teach me here? What do I need to do differently to make this okay?!" No answers yet. Someday.... Anyway, at least with the allergy part, I know how you feel.

  2. This made me think of the rawness of David in the psalms. Love your heart Amy. Praying for peace and healing and grace.

  3. Ohh I love you so much. Your heart's in a good place...even if you're yelling expletives at God at least you're engaging! Squeeze your boy for me.