a quick note to say...

Welcome home Allie! Fish and Puppy are glad to have their "aunty" home! Can't wait to see your face!

(okay I know the majority of you are sitting there scratching your heads. Who's Aunty Allie? She is one of the most treasured people here at the zoo, and she has sadly been missing from our lives way too much for the past couple years while she ate bon-bons and jet setted around Europe. Really she was over in Amsterdam helping out with a church plant! )

To the powers that be...

She's not two yet. But the terrible has started. Why?

Take said not quite 2 year old swimming (who by all accounts LOVES swimming). She screams. And screams. Laughs at brother kicking around. "Pup-py swimming". Screams some more.

Wants her life jacket on, wants her life jacket off. The screaming continues.

Kanga has something that she at least thinks is hers, "NOOOOO MIIIIYYYYNNNEEEE". Kanga looks at me and shrugs. Kanga is over the two's, she's about three...

Oh, and clothing choice, ouch! She has some style, and has an off day if she doesn't get to share her style with the world. Too bad her style is best suited for 80 and sunny. Sun dresses and cold just don't go to well together.

Maybe it's time to buck up and accept that my baby is no longer a baby, and has begun "asserting her independence". I just may hate independence.

10 ways to be an Irrelevant Christian

Recently we have started going to a new church. (Covenant Church... check it out, come Easter!) Pretty cool place, meets at a movie theater, pretty much the least "churchy" you can be. A bunch of 20 and 30 somethings(along with a few "old people") attempting at making an impact on a community. Good stuff. Anyways, the pastor is a pretty straight forward, tell it like it is kinda guy, with a smidge of humor thrown in there. I wish I could take credit for the following, I really do. But I couldn't not pass it on. Its just too amusing (and TRUE!).

Now you can know for sure if you fit into this wonderful category of irrelevant christians…..

#10- LEAVE A TRACK AS A TIP IN A RESTAURANT INSTEAD OF LEAVING ANY MONEY

Why would you leave someone serving you any money? Just make sure and leave them a track! Leaving a track say’s, “Hey, i’m cheap AND irritating.”

#9- PURCHASE TEN CHRISTIAN BUMPER STICKERS, PLACE THEM ON YOUR CAR, AND THEN DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT

Nothing say’s God loves you more than a wwjd sticker wearing Volvo cutting you off and then pumping the brakes almost causing you to crash. Make sure and find the right stickers to reach the full capacity of irritation. You know, the “Jesus is my co-pilot” and the “In case of rapture, car will be unmanned” or how about the “I'm under the influence….of God!.” With these stickers, and your reckless driving, your testimony is sure to shine.

#8- ONLY SPEAK IN THE OLD ENGLISH WHEN TALKING TO PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO DON’T GO TO CHURCH

Heareth you who haveth ears to hear. Thine best option is that thou woudst talk in such a manner as to shun all who would take offense to thou speaking in such tones. Thou shalt be most relevant in thine culture of today, when thee speaketh in a manner which shalt confuse everyone.

#7-LEARN CHRISTIANEASE AND SPEAK IT FLUENTLY

When speaking to an unbeliever make sure and use words such as…..propitiation, providence, sanctification, and depravity. Also be sure to include phrases such as…… "are you saved?”, “does Jesus live in your heart?”, “are you filled with the Ghost?”. These words and phrases are sure to confuse even the best of your non-christian friends.

#6- MAKE JESUS SEEM AS WEIRD AS POSSIBLE

Make sure and describe Jesus to people as a very pale skinny white guy with blue eyes, a huge beard and long hair. Also, don't forget that Jesus wore a purple beauty pageant sash and floated from one place to the next. Make sure to include in conversation that Jesus is secretly watching every move they make 24 hours a day. Also if you want to drive the point home, you can follow up this conversation by singing the Hymn, “There is a fountain filled with blood.” That should help to really get the point across.

#5- MAKE SURE YOU ALIENATE A GENERATION FOR NOT LISTENING TO THE ORGAN AS THEIR PRIMARY SOURCE OF MUSIC

Everyone knows that organ music is on the billboard top 100 charts year after year. So of course it makes sense that we would only play songs led by an organ in church. Also make sure to call into question someones walk with Christ when they ask why their church doesn’t use guitars or drums on stage, but they can be found in every backing track the local southern gospel singers use when they sing on Sunday mornings.

#4- DON’T TALK TO YOUR NEIGHBORS.

EVER!

#3- MAKE SURE YOU PICKET ANYONE AND EVERYTHING

If you are looking for irrelevancy, here is your chance! Go to the local planned parenthood and yell at the people as they walk out, make sure to target the youngest of girls with your jeers, as these will leave the deepest of impressions about Christianity. Go to the local bar and yell at them as they walk out, also tell them that God doesn’t allow drunkards into the kingdom. Also picket all things gay. Make sure to make signs with sharpies that read, “God hates queers”, “God hates you”, “I hate you”, and “We hate you.”

#2- ONLY WATCH TBN

Quality programming for sure! Purchase some holy water from Benny Hinn, sprinkle it on your prayer cloth, and then pray that God will take care of the bills that you’ve racked up in credit card debt buying holy water and prayer cloths.

and the number one way to make sure that you are an irrelevant Christian is…………

1#- NEVER STUDY CULTURE

Dont watch t.v., ‘ read the paper, don’t use the internet, don’t read books that aren’t written by Christians, don’t listen to secular music, don’t go to the movies. Maybe this is a better way to say it……only watch Bibleman and McGee and Me, only subscribe to Christian Living Magazine, when you get online only look at TBN.com, only read the Left Behind Books, only listen to Phil Keggy and/or Geoff Moore, and only go to see movies that have Kirk Cameron as the lead actor.

If you carefully follow all of these rules you will not only re-enforce the stigma that people have about Christians, but you will also join the ranks of being an irrelevant one!

There you go, a laugh for the day. Or maybe a shaking of the head. Oh well, I found it funny!

GF/CF on a shoe: Flourless Chocolate Cake

This is quite possibly one of the easiest things I have made and it is so delicious. Not by gluten free standards either. My new fail safe, go to dessert! Sorryfor the lack of picture, one day I will get the whole post recipe/ have picture thing down!

Ingredients

8 oz ounces semi-sweet (CF/GF) chocolate chips
1 cup (2 sticks) CF Margarine (such as earth balance... butter would work too if that's an option!)
1 1/4 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

Method

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9-inch cake pan, then line the bottom with a circle of parchment paper. Grease the paper, too, then set the pan aside.

Place the chocolate and 1 cup (2 sticks) of the butter in a medium microwave safe bowl. Microwave and stir in 30 second increments until all is creamy and smooth, do not over cook for fear of burnt chocolate! Add sugar and mix well. Add eggs one at a time, whisking well after each addition. Sift cocoa into bowl and stir until just blended.

Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until cake has risen and top has formed a thin crust. The cake should be just firm in the center when done. Cool for 10 minutes, then invert onto a plate. Remove and discard parchment paper and set cake aside to cool. Dust with powdered sugar for a yummy touch!

Sunny Days

Today we headed off to the park with the zookeeper and friends. The park is pretty cool, and has a space theme. Miss Amber was there along with her kiddos and their daddy, and well, she is a photography nerd like me. She took the time to shoot my kiddos because in her words, they are much easier targets than her kids because they will stay still! So here is yet another photo heavy post of the Puppy and Fish, courtesy of Miss Amber!








Can we even start to get over how OLD fish looks in this picture? What happened to my little girl?

Franklin Park

Earlier this week we went to Franklin Park Conservatory and met up with some friends. The place is seriously cool and has a room of butterflies right now! Pup and Fish had fun exploring, and we all enjoyed some time as a whole family!

Knocking

God has gently been pulling me from the abyss that has been my life for the past half a year or so. Knocking, calling... TRUST my child. Trust that I am good. Trust my plan. My plan for you and for your family.

Remember my child, the passions I once gave you. The fullness of the Kingdom you once knew. They are still there.

Still waiting.

They have not been lost. You have not been lost.

Jump. Leap.

Walk on water.

But you see, knocking is scary stuff. Knocking requires action. You either answer, or you ignore. And answering I fear may radically change my life, our lives. Sitting and talking about knocking means dookie(which is a nicer way of saying crap... which is really a nicer way of saying... well you know). Change, well change is good, right?

So that's where I am. Staring at the door, preparing to answer. Waiting with baited breath for what is on the other side.

Could Have Been

We were out to lunch about a week ago, Pup, Fish, the Zookeeper, and I. On our way out the was a middle aged man walking in with a cane, with a significant limp. Now this wasn't your run of the mill "I twisted my ankle" limp. It was more along the lines of his leg may have never worked properly for whatever reason. The Zookeeper went out of his way to get the door for him (he was still about a minute from the door when we were leaving).

He met back up with Fish and I at the car and said, "That could be Puppy one day."

That sentence is often said or thought when we are out and about with our daily lives. People who we normally would have not taken a second glance at, we now notice and empathize with. It could have been, or could be Puppy. He is doing incredibly well compared to his scans, surprising doctors at his progress at every turn. But what if he wasn't born in 2009, in a large city with a great Children's hospital. One of only a few hospitals in the country that preforms whole body cooling on infants (go read the article... short and sweet. For reference Pup had the dreaded 1 APGAR too.) We will never know, but it has changed how we think.

So next time you are out and you see someone in a wheelchair, stop and smile. When you see a person with a funny twitch or someone not able to speak properly, don't avert your eyes and walk by. Recognize them for who they are. Someone who has fought their entire life to make the progress and the gains that they have achieved. They are not the ones to be forgotten.

Because after all, "It could have been Pup."

Don't Quit

So some people are really good at the whole blogging thing. One post, daily. Consistent series. Heck, some people even post at the same time every day. I'm not one of those people. I blog when the mood hits, and I am quite okay with that. So here you go, post #2 for today. Soak it up, you never know when I will go away for a few days!

When I first met with one of Puppy's billion social workers, they handed me a "Care journal". It has places for all things medical, but honestly I never use it. Maybe if I was a bit more type A than I am, I would use it at every appointment for every detail, but I don't. Instead on quiet evenings I will pull it out and read one of the poems or articles meant to encourage. So that is what I bring you. Because while it's original intent is for parents in the thick of raising a child with medical needs, it is really applicable to us all. We all have things pressing down on us, stressing us out, dragging us into the pit.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out-

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when your hardest hit-

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author unknown

So stick to the fight when your hardest hit- It's when things seem worst that you must not quit. Never have I read a more applicable line. You see I have another secret, and sadly this one is not as fun as a housekeeper. My dad has cancer, stage 4.

So I will stick to the fight when I'm hardest hit, because it is when things seem the worst that we must not quit.

Training Games

Let me preface this by saying I strongly dislike running.

I am in training, training I just started today, for a 5K. Why you ask? Some very persuasive people convinced me it would be fun. So here I go training for a 5K... and you know what if just may turn out to be not that bad!

I am doing the Couch to 5K training plan with some friends of mine, preparing for the Race for the Cure in May. So if you are in Columbus, come and join our team! The Real Housewives of West Columbus.

We may even make shirts. Yes, I said shirts.

BFFs

Our Fish is growing up and developing her own tastes in friends. She, I fear has her first BFF... or best friend forever for those who don't speak tween text. Little Roo and her are becoming quite the duo... I am fearful for what the years ahead will bring!

Some days you're on...

And others you are not. Today was one of those "not" days. We loaded up the kids in their cute spring outfits and headed to Homestead... only to discover MUD. Yes, yes, I know we had a record breaking snowfall in the month of February. And yes, yes, I know that it has only just started melting in the past week. But a girl can hope right? So I shot away, trying to get the elusive picture of the Pup and Fish together. Poor guy was woken up to be tortured! Oh well, there is always next week!

Home Remedies?

Last night I had a KILLER ear ache, enough to make me want to chop off my ear and just be done with it. But Van Gogh I am not, so I went searching for a home remedy that would provide some instant relief, and would safe me from a (very costly) trip to urgent care today.

After consulting Dr. Google, I found a few which continuously came back with comments on working, and no comments on causing more harm. Many were disqualified from the running as I didn't have the required ingredients on hand. (Tea tree oil, fresh garlic, grape seep oil)

Onion juice slightly warmed.

Blow dryer giving heat (not direct!!!)

Laying in a certain position (on your side, "owie ear" down, head pushed vertical by your hand)

Your own urine, caught midstream.

One(or more) of them was success, as I have NO pain or pressure this morning. As for which one, I'm never telling. (disclaimer... even though I am crazy enough to try this kind of thing for myself, the kiddos are safe, it is ALWAYS to the doctor for them!)

Secrets, secrets are no fun...

Remember that? Secrets, secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone! Oh you don't? Well then maybe I'm the only one who learned that when younger.

I have a secret, a dirty one... or I suppose a clean one in this case. We hired a housekeeper.

(pause for collective gasp)

I hate cleaning. HATE cleaning. In no way do I enjoy cleaning, and even more than that cleaning wears down at my very being. Yes, yes, I am a SAHM. And yes, yes, according to many said cleaning falls firmly within my job description. But that is a very LONG job description. Seriously, you can't afford me. But back to the wearing down.

Being a SAHM you give up a lot of yourself, you give up a lot of your dreams, and you dive in to the incredibly mondain things of life, day in and day out. Yes I realize I could now jump into an incredibly joyous description about how God takes those things and fills my life with them. That I actually am becoming a more full and whole person by changing the 15th diaper of the day... but I'm not. I'm sure that post exists somewhere in the blogesphere, complete with 700 "I am so blessed" and a sickeningly sweet attitude. If you want that, see the "next blog" button up top... go ahead and hit it. But here, those mondain things wear me down, and some more than others. Cleaning is the worst, it stresses me out, and I never seem to get on top of it. It causes fights in our house. It causes me to resent the zookeeper, because his job description is concrete, however crappy it may be. It needed to change, I needed help, MOMS NEED HELP.

A housekeeper, a few hours every 2 weeks, and all the proceeds are going to the American Cancer Society to boot. And one blissfully happy mommy, who is remarkably unstressed. Able to enjoy her kiddos, able to be with them fully. Able to simply sit and be.

We as moms, we need help. Read that again. And again. Keep reading it until you understand. I have some crazy idea that we should enjoy being home with our children, at least most of the time. But things wear us down, chip away at the core of who we are. They make us forget who we are prior to children, make us forget our passion. What chips you down? FIX IT!

For me all it took was a few hours, every couple weeks. Oh yeah, and if you connect to this, check out the movie Motherhood. It's out on DVD, so go Red Box or Netflix it. If your sitting there thinking, this woman is off her rocker and needs to just go get a job, skip it. Trust me you won't like it.

humph.

Grey's Anatomy, can't I just pretend like my little man is normal just for a few hours? Must you come into my living room room with a story line about a baby who has had a stoke in the womb?

"Stroke in the womb, what a crappy way to start a life."

Thanks Alex... I needed to hear that. I like you, I really do, but maybe we need to set a few ground rules, no cancer, no NICU. Can you handle that?