Thursday, February 11, 2010

Mommy Guilt...

I have it... too much of it I'm sure. It's there for everything. She watches too much tv. She eats too much yogurt. She doesn't eat enough yogurt. I let her sit in her crib when she wakes up but isn't crying (always until said crying starts...). I had him quit the Ohio State PT study. I leave him in the swing(sleeping there right now) too much. He's on Zantac(or Tacky as fish refers to it).

But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, comes close to the mommy guilt that comes along with the decision to not breastfeed. Breast feeding is best, okay, we get it. It is drilled into a mom's head at every turn, in every magazine, in every ounce of hospital paraphernalia. But what if it's not best always? Where is the line?

This is not the go ahead for people to willy nilly switch to formula, just because it is easiest. But I have formula fed both of my children, and for very specific doctor recommended reasons never even tried nursing puppy, and I carry tremendous mommy guilt for it.

But I am standing(or typing) now and saying, that it is OKAY to formula feed if that is what the cards deal you. It is okay to switch to formula because your child is on the verge of being admitted to the hospital for Failure to Thrive. It is okay to switch when your diet is so resricted that you can hardly see straight. It is okay to switch when you very mental stability is crumbling because you can not handle the stress. It is even okay to supplement because you are unable to pump while you are at work. It is all okay... they will grow, they will thrive, they will be perfect in the eyes of God and all that love them.

It is all okay.

(Those who are so super pro breastfeeding that they cannot see another alternative, please refrain from unhelpful comments, that will only increase said mommy guilt! Thanks!)


  1. You are doing whats best for you kids and if anyone tells you different they are crazy. I know that there are the crazy pro breastfeeders out there but they do not have the awnser for you kids.All of the time that I have spent around you and your kids.. they love you and they are the happiest kids that I know. I only hope that our kids can be as happy as yours are. You are doing the right thing and for that you have nothing to feel guilty about. Keep smiling and cherish you kids having a 9 year old .. I know that they grow up so fast.Keep up the great job with your kids... Terry

  2. Enough of this guilt, mama. It's enough to break a girl! You know what's best for your kids, you and their doctor, and that's the only thing that matters. They are happy, healthy, smart kids who will grow into happy, healthy, smart adults *because* of the choices you made, not in spite of them.

    PS My kid has done little aside from watch TV all WEEK. He's sick, but still. ;)

  3. I needed this post. The mommy guilt is enough to kill me right now. You are such a blessing!

  4. I just had to comment because I too was thinking that I would BF both of my children and it just didn't work. With my daughter I couldn't get her to latch on and so ended up pumping my milk for her until we discovered that I was preggo with our second when she was just 6mo old. I knew I couldn't keep my health up to support the three of us, so she was switched to an organic formula. When my son was just a few weeks old we discovered that he had acid reflux really bad, which was why my milk never stayed down him and he would spit up all over me when BF (finally got a latch with him after a couple weeks!). We had to switch from BF to me pumping (again) and we put probiotics into my milk and after working through the acid reflux, I could never get him to latch to me again. Needless to say, this Momma got tired of toting a machine with her everywhere and ds was switched to the above mentioned organic formula when he was 6 months old. I too dealt with Momma guilt for oh so many months and wished things could be differend. I was determined after the "failure" with my dd that I would BF exclusively our second baby and that didn't turn out well at all.

    So here's to you, MOMMA, for doing what each child needs and not feeling guilty for not being able to hit that "ideal" picture. My house doesn't look like the "ideal" pictures in the Better Homes and Garden's magazines either. =P

    Love your babies, do what is right in the moment and remember, you are still the Momma. =) ((((HUGS)))) from a sister

  5. This isn't said enough. Thanks, I needed the reminder.

  6. I had the same mommy guilt when I didn't breast feed. I feel it pretty much all the time. For a lot of the same reasons...

    Hang in there